To Believe, or Not to Believe

Nico and Miss Donna.

Sometimes I’m fortunate enough to have a conversation with my son. I ask him questions and he answers so quickly that I know the responses are not coming from me.

Recently, I was “talking” to him and doubt crept in. “Is it really you, are we really talking?” These doubts always frustrate my son. He doesn’t understand why I have trouble believing it’s really him. I said, “It’s not the same as when you existed on earth, I could hug you, see you, smell you. This feels so unsatisfying sometimes, because I’m not really sure you’re there the way I could be when you were in your physical form.”

He replied, a bit exasperated, “So you only believe what you can perceive with your five senses? Because you can’t touch me or see me I’m not here? Well, then I guess you don’t believe in air or electricity, because these can’t be seen or touched either.”

I get the point. I realize he is in an entirely different realm and it’s logical that my five senses are useless in perceiving him as he is now. After all, my five senses go with my physical form, so why would they help me sense something non-physical, and purely spiritual? In my physical form I’ve learned to negotiate my world by using these senses. The feedback from them tells me what’s real and what’s not-at least in the physical world.

But now that my son is in spirit, I need to use different senses to perceive him. I need to connect with my son mentally, through meditation. The bond we developed on earth is what allows us to communicate with each other spiritually. Being in a meditative state allows me to quiet my own thoughts so my son can come through.

Mother’s Day 2016(click here for post) changed my entire paradigm about life and death. On that day I realized that death is not the ending we think it is. People don’t just stop existing, the soul/spirit lives on. I can’t say I know what happens when we die, all I can tell you is that I know my son exists in some form, somewhere. Right now, I guess it’s not important for me to understand how this can be, I just need to fully embrace that it is true.