Before I lost Nico, I thought signs were something people imagined because they missed their loved ones so much. I thought they read into things, and made something out of nothing.
After the loss, my thinking changed completely, after receiving some very clear signs from my son. Although he had sent me signs on my dad’s birthday (in March, 3 months after Nico died, read post here) the sign he sent on my first Mother’s Day without him was shocking and confusing (read post here). I felt so many different emotions; relief, love, hope, even a little fear. I suddenly felt between the worlds-the living and the “dead.” I saw a place where both existed together, and it threw me into chaos. “You’re still here, somehow? You’re dead but you can communicate with me?”
It made letting go messy instead of neat. It would have been simpler if I just had to accept he was gone and I would never see him again. I had to rethink what death meant and it took me quite a while to come to a peaceful place about it. I still have many more questions than answers, but the bottom line is I can and do communicate with my son.
Often.
His signs have become less frequent over the years, but they never cease to impress and comfort me. Often, a sign will come when I’m not even thinking about him…and yet there it is, right in my face… something so significant that I couldn’t possibly deny that it is coming from Nico. I feel it in my body, know it in my soul. Intuition tells me that it is real and not just wishful thinking or coincidence.
Sometimes it feels as though he’s jumping up and down, waving his hands in the air, trying so very hard to get through to me – almost shouting, “I’m here, you’re not alone, I love you!”
From what I’ve read about the “other side”, our loved ones are not far away at all. In fact, many assert that they are right here next to us, just in a different form and different dimension.
I know my son comes through to me because we miss each other so much. He wants me to know that he didn’t go away, he just changed. It sounds so simple, but it’s very hard to embrace that change. That is the challenge I face every day.
But of one thing I am sure; love never dies, and that is what his signs are all about. The bonds of love transcend death, no question.